Here are 20 of the best of the quick jokes & one liners from my site.
http://www.myfreejokes.co.uk/quick-jokes-one-liners-home.html
Free Quick Joke 1
Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.
A. A beer and a mop.
Free Quick Joke 2
Q. What do you call Maoris on Prozac?
A. Once were worriers.
A. Once were worriers.
Q. What's a hindu?
A. Lays eggs.
A. Lays eggs.
Free Quick Joke 4
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
A. About two - if they're thinly sliced.
A. About two - if they're thinly sliced.
Free Quick Joke 5
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever Dick
A. Clever Dick
Free Quick Joke 6
Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.
A. He's all right now.
Free Quick Joke 7
Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Free Quick Joke 8
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
A. A nervous wreck.
Free Quick Joke 9
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
A. Anyone can roast beef.
Free Quick Joke 10
Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.
A. Right where you left him.
Free Quick Joke 11
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
A. Because they taste funny.
Free Quick Joke 12
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-Eye Deer. (sound like No Idea)
A. No-Eye Deer. (sound like No Idea)
Free Quick Joke 13
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no eye deer.
A. Still no eye deer.
Free Quick Joke 14
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no sexual organs?
A. Still no fucking eye deer.
A. Still no fucking eye deer.
Free Quick Joke 15
Q. Why are women like condoms?
A. They spend 90% of their time in your wallet, and 10% on your dick.
A. They spend 90% of their time in your wallet, and 10% on your dick.
Free Quick Joke 16
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A. The car salesman can probably drive!
A. The car salesman can probably drive!
Free Quick Joke 17
Q. Did you hear about the guy who's a dyslexic-bulimic?
A. He eats, and then he sticks his finger up his ass.
A. He eats, and then he sticks his finger up his ass.
Free Quick Joke 18
Q. What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
A. They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
A. They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
Free Quick Joke 19
Q. What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
A. Swim!
A. Swim!
Free Quick Joke 20
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.
A. Because it was dead.
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