http://www.myfreejokes.co.uk/irish-jokes-free-home.html
Free Paddy in the bog Joke
paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Barty shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"
Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."
Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.
After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Barty, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."
As Mick was leaving, Barty called "Mick! Mick!
D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?
Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."
Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.
After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Barty, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."
As Mick was leaving, Barty called "Mick! Mick!
D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?
Free Irish man in a bar joke.
Paddy walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave. "S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what Paddy had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives
"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives
Guess what this is .. Yup a free Irish joke.
Mick and Paddy were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground.
Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that look like Sean" to which Paddy replied "No Sean was taller than that"
Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that look like Sean" to which Paddy replied "No Sean was taller than that"
Irish joke 1
What did the Irishman call his pet zebra?
Spot.
Irish joke 2
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure.
Irish joke 3
How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.
Irish joke 4
How do you get an Irishman on the roof?
Tell him drinks are on the house.
Irish joke 5
Two Irishmen are sitting on the ground.
One falls off.
Irish joke 6
How do you stop an Irish tank?
Kill the blokes pushing it.
Irish joke 7
What happened to the Irish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe.
Irish joke 8
How do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree?
Wave.
Irish joke 9
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin
Irish joke 10
Free Irish Jokes with Mike Tyson.
Mike Tyson walks into an Irish pub.
He shouts I am mike Tyson i have 26 million pounds and i only sleep with white women
Paddy walks up to him and whispers in his ear.
Mike punches him and knocks him out.
When paddy comes round his mates ask him what he's said and paddy replied.
Yeah if i had 26 pounds i wouldn't fuck niggers either.
He shouts I am mike Tyson i have 26 million pounds and i only sleep with white women
Paddy walks up to him and whispers in his ear.
Mike punches him and knocks him out.
When paddy comes round his mates ask him what he's said and paddy replied.
Yeah if i had 26 pounds i wouldn't fuck niggers either.
Irish joke 11
funny free Irish joke
Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery's waiting room.
"I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate to feel like this if I was well!"
More free Irish joke 12
PADDY... "If you can guess how many chickens I have in my bag, you can have both of them." "Three?"... Suggested Shaun.
Another of the greatest free Irish Jokes.
Paddy went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99" replied the shop owner "Give us the lot" said the Paddy, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off.
He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur" he replied "but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping"
funny free Murphy dead Irish joke
Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects. "He's got a great tan," Mrs Doolan from next door mused. "The holiday did him the world of good." "And he looks so calm and serene," said Mrs McGuiness. "That's because he died in his sleep." explained Mrs Murphy, "and he doesn't know he's dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!"
Another free Irish joke
"Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?" "And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.
Free Irish Murphy joke,
Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble. "Is that you Murphy?" called his wife. "Byjasis! It damned well better be!"
No comments:
Post a Comment